I think I won't make my bed tomorrow

This is a little long, and maybe not a typical blog entry. But my most wonderful Aunt Jana wrote a blog entry once about how it's fun to use blogs to show friends and family what's going on in our lives, but they should also be used to show how we sometimes don't have it all together, so everyone can relate to one another. So, I'm taking that as permission to post this because I think it will help me make some changes in my life.

So, for book club this month, we read The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch. You've all probably heard of him or seen him on YouTube. Anyway, I, of course, waited until the week of book club to start the book. But it was okay because it is a super easy read, so everyone should take a few hours and read this book. There is something in it for everyone.

Anyway, I started it on Monday night, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about this one particular story he relates. When he was a teenager, he asked his parents if he could paint things on the walls of his room. When his parents ask what he would paint, he says, "Things that matter to me. Things that I think would be cool. You'll see." Which was enough for his father to say yes. His mother was more skeptical, but gave permission as well. I know I would never allow that. What would guests think? What if we wanted to sell the house? Anyway, his friend and sister helped him paint all sorts of funny, teenage things on his walls. In all the years that have passed, his wise parents never painted over it. Even in his 40s, when he would go home to visit, he could go in his room and remember that he won the "parent lottery."

He concludes the story by writing, "Anybody out there who is a parent, if your kids want to paint their bedrooms, as a favor to me, let them do it. It'll be okay, Don't worry about the resale value of your home."

So, this has been on my mind all week, and I really want to be like his parents. And not just allowing my kids to paint their walls. I think there is more to it than that. I have become so consumed with keeping the house clean and organized, and following a schedule, and being on time, and not making messes. I'm sure it is because I feel so totally out of control in my life right now with Scott's schedule. But, I actually told Alysson the other day that she couldn't have Ritz crackers for a snack because they make too much crumbs. Then a few days later, she had some other crackers and got crumbs everywhere, and she apologized to me. And I felt so bad about that and tried to tell her it was okay, but she started helping me clean them up. And tonight, my dad came over to watch the kids so I could go to book club. So, I heard him say something to Alysson about reading books, plural, after she was ready for bed, and I said, "No, just one." Like Alysson getting to read an extra book with her grandpa is going to throw all my little routines out the window.

At book club, I mentioned all this, and someone told me about this quote from Sister Hinckley.

"My mother taught me some basic philosophies of rearing children. One is that you have to trust children. I tried hard never to say "no" if I could possibly say "yes." I think that worked well because it gave my children the feeling that I trusted them and they were responsible to do the best they could."

So, this is my new goal. I know it's not going to be easy. But I'm going to put that quote on my mirror, and I'm going to try really hard to lighten up, and let my kids be kids. And someday, if Alysson or Carson want to paint their walls, I hope I've had enough practice by then to say yes.